First off, I have some news. Myself and some friends have created another website! ItsInTents.com, dedicated to camping and outdoor reviews and news. This way I’ll pull some of the stuff I’ve written that doesn’t fit why I created this site to begin with away and publish it to a more proper location. Please check it out! It’s sparse now, but growing a bit each day like the horrible parasite that has replaced your tongue.
Anyways! Back to horror 2 sentence horror.
A beautiful girl winked at me at a funeral yesterday. I wouldn’t have been horrified if she wasn’t in the casket.
I had never ridden in a stretch limo before. The trunk isn’t nearly as nice as I imagine the rest of it to be.
The anesthetic had kicked in but I hadn’t fallen asleep. I could feel it wear off as I wiggled my finger unnoticed by the doctor, who was too engrossed in preparing the bone saw.
I actually live in the attic. I’m sorry it had to be this way, I thought you and your husband had left for work.
“You know what Dee, I don’t want to hear about your dream, okay? I hate listening to people’s dreams. It’s like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I’m not in any of them, and nobody’s having sex, I just… don’t care.”
-Dennis, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
I had two separate nightmares tonight. In one, I was assisting in a murder investigation at a coal mine in South Africa, when a previously unknown pocket of oil was struck. The oil was flooding the mine, and I barely escaped with my life and could feel myself choking on the rancid liquid as I fought for air and saved one of my fellow investigators. I honestly thought I was going to die.
In the second nightmare, I was in a classroom filling out a worksheet, while a strange man would come around and ask basic science questions. I was sitting next to some friends, both those new and those who have gone their separate ways, when he came to me and asked what were the three types of rock. “Easy,” I say. “Sedimentary, Igneous, and… uhmmm,” I stammered.
Guess which one woke me up in a cold sweat. And I still can’t think of the damn third rock. I refuse to look it up.
Continue reading Only in dreams
I watched “Beneath” (2013) on Netflix Instant the other day, and was thrown a bit. 1. It doesn’t show up on IMDB under that name, however another movie exists with that name. 2. I couldn’t figure out its internal logic. That’s not always a problem, but does pull me out of the movie a bit.
Horror needs rules. I don’t mean that there always needs to be a killer targeting teens, or a final girl, or anything like that. Horror can have cliche’s as many of them allow us to place ourselves in the shoes of the protagonists. I mean rules as in an internal consistency in the universe.
One of the problems with most horror movies is the inability to set up rules. Jump scares are prized over real atmospheric terror. The killer being mysterious I have no problem with (if it is that kind of horror, and not existential or body horror or the like,) I have issues when the killer isn’t restricted by any kind of rules.
Continue reading 6 Subjective Rules for Successful Horror